Happiness, I choose you!

“They asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. 
They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
     - John Lennon

I laughed at the first few suggestions from my friends/colleagues for me to write a blog, but after enough unrelated people brought this to my attention I felt the overwhelming need to ask: "Why?"  They always had trouble answering, but shared a conclusion: they would be interested in what I would have to say.

Flattery and fear crashed through me. What would I have to say?

I spend a good deal of my life balancing my head, my heart, and my gut in order to choose my actions. When is it right to speak my mind vs suppressing my inner monologue? Should I wear my heart on my sleeve, or lock it in my chest? Do I trust my impulses, or am I instinctively devious? As you can imagine, my tongue never quite heals from the constant biting and the idea of writing a blog, for me, could lead to a mouth full of blood.

I hurdle this same obstacle in my line of work as an artist. In contemporary acting "playing an emotion" is frowned upon. Beliefs, feelings, and impulses are reactions that can happen simultaneously and change in an instant. One cannot choose these responses, or choose "to be" anything other than what they are, therefore actors are encouraged to play only what they as people are able to choose: actions. (IE. choosing to slap (action) vs. choosing to be angry (emotion)). Which means in my world, "to be happy," is not a choice.

But happiness is all that I can ever remember truly desiring. It's all that my loved ones have ever desired for me. What does being happy mean to me? To be carefree, to be in love, to be inspiring to others, to be accomplished, to be proud, to be playful, to be grateful, to be...

Wait. Were some of those actions? I may not be able to choose to be in love, but I can certainly choose to love. Maybe I can't to choose to be playful but I can play. I can't choose to be grateful but I can sure as hell show my gratitude.

Inspired by "The Science of Happiness," I have been searching for a creative way to show my gratitude. I believe Let's Be Big Fish (out of water) is my answer. I dedicate this blog to each and every person for which I would like to share my gratitude. This week in particular goes to everyone who suggested I write this.

In my next post I will share how Let's Be Big Fish (out of water) came to be the title. I owe it to a few unknowing influences, (it could be you) and I will certainly express my gratitude. Be sure to check back.

"One of the greatest contributing factors to happiness in your life is how much gratitude you show."
     - Soul Pancake